HOUGHTON - Anyone who knows Margaret Sottile would say that she has touched the lives of hundreds of children and families in the Copper Country. "Her dedication and commitment to young children has been an inspiration to all who know her," Cathy Benda, assistant director of the Keweenaw Family Resource Center, said, noting that she's worked with her for more than 10 years. "I have just enjoyed working with her and watching the KFRC grow from her vision."
On Sept. 30, Sottile will retire from her position as director of the KFRC, a job which she has loved and enjoyed since she co-founded the non-profit organization with Pat Wood in 1991. It was through their strong belief that all children need a nurturing start to life and that parents, too, need support through the parenting process, that the organization became a community success. "We've grown and met new challenges over the years," Sottile said. "We've risen to meet the needs of the community."
The KFRC, located in Trinity Episcopal Church in Houghton, offers local families four major programs which promote child and parent interaction while also supporting and providing parents with resources. The programs include playgroup, home visitors program, baby maternity closet, and welcome baby bag.
Playgroups meet weekday mornings at various area churches. They provide an opportunity for parents and children to interact together while spending a a morning of fun filled activities such as reading, indoor playing and taking part in experimental activities like painting, cutting with scissors and playing with glue and glitter. "The idea is not to make a product, but to gain experience in what they're doing," Sottile said. "They learn to work with their hands. It's very important for their development."
The home visitors program involves weekly home visits to expecting parents as well as those from birth to three. They look at child development, the health of the mother, conduct parenting activities and offer support. Sottile said it's a universal program. "Regardless of who you are, you can receive support. Whether you're a student, international student, professional, very young parent, or other it doesn't matter," she said. "Everyone is in the same boat, with the same concerns."
The maternity and baby closet is a program where the KFRC collects gently used maternity and baby clothes and items from the community and distribute them to parents in need. Items the KFRC are in need of include cribs, high chairs, strollers, toddler beds, clothes, and related baby items.
The welcome baby bag program offers expecting mothers a visit from a volunteer at either Keweenaw Memorial Medical Center or Portage Health System, in which they receive a welcome baby bag containing information on childhood development, health and safety, and community resources available to them. "We see about 360 new moms each year at these two hospitals," Sottile said. The KFRC also supplies new parents with a parenting newsletter. It provides information as to where the baby is at various developmental stages as well as asks what the mother is doing to take care of herself. "It's a duel focus," Sottile said. "It's really important that moms look out for themselves as well."
Although Margaret is responsible for program management, staff development and training, public relatiosn, fund-raising and grant writing, she said she still loves volunteering at playgroups. "They're my favorite," she said. "Truly, it's a lot of fun."
Currently the KFRC has seven playgroups at churches throughout the area, as well as a storyhour in the evenings at the community center at Daniell Heights.
Referring to a phone call Sottile received in the mid-1990s from a woman in Ashland, WI, who also understood the importance of playgroups in a child's life, she said she was looking to start a playgroup of her own. "You never know what a difference you can make," she said. Coincidently, the woman's daughter happened to be a former playgroup attendee at the KFRC. "You never know just how much you've touched peoples lives by opening yourself up to the community for support," she added. "That's just one of the many stories I'm going to remember."
Originally from Great Britain, Sottile added that living in Houghton and being a part of the community and parish, helping children and their families has been "the single most satisfying experience of my life other than raising my own children."Attributing her success to her family, she added "none of this would have been possible without the support from my husband and my kids, and of course, my parish family."
At the end of September, Sottile and her husband will move to Rockford, MI, just miles from their children who live in Grand Rapids.
Need to buy gifts for friends and family members with birthdays, babies and back-to-school needs? Before you head to the super store, consider buying a gift basket and help benefit local children's programs. Keweenaw Gift Baskets, part of the Keweenaw Family Resource Center, is selling the custom-filled gift baskets to supplement a shortage of funding. Their larger goal is to avoid cutting any of their current programs.
"We are not affiliated with any national organization," explained Margaret Sottile, executive director of the local nonprofit agency that provides programs for families with children up to age 5. All fund-raising for the group is done locally. The gift selection includes but is not limited to spa baskets, birthday baskets, and gourmet food baskets. They can be custom-designed for all occasions.
The profit KFRC receives from the sale of the baskets - between 30-50 percent of the sale amount - goes toward keeping the programs and services in the community that have been undermined by a shortfall of grant monies. A $1.06 million cut to the Parents Involvement in Education (PIE) program of the Michigan Department of Education program dented the budgets of the KFRC and other agencies that had originally applied for the grant cooperatively with the Copper Country Intermediate School District. The organization has also applied with BHK Child Development Board for funding and contracts.
KFRC services include educational programs for expectant parents, play groups and a home visiting program for families with children up to age 3 to monitor child development and education. "The Baby Closet," another KFRC program, provides gently used donated clothing to expectant mothers and their babies. "A lot of very young parents know about the 'closet'," said Sottile. "Part of our success, I believe, is our availability to everyone," said Sottile. KFRC's program are available to anyone in the community with young children, regardless of their socioeconomic background.
Cathy Benda, assistant director of KFRC, assembles Keweenaw Gift Baskets. Spa baskets, gardening baskets, gourmet food baskets, Welcome Baby baskets, Happy Birthday baskets, Keweenaw Blizzard Baskets and Good Morning coffee baskets are available. And Benda is open to creating new ones, as well. How about a basket for your favorite college student with essential items such as pens, post-it notes, and snacks tucked in a metal mesh basket that can later be used as a dorm room trash can? Talk about practical. Maybe a "Welcome Baby" basket with a plush rattle toy, sensory learning books, and safety items would be perfect. Or, a "Welcome to the Family" basket that includes items specially selected for baby's sibling and father, so no one feels left out of the joyous occasion.
Benda is currently gathering items made exclusively in the Keweenaw to put in a local-themed basket.
She is offering 100 percent pure maple syrup, in a maple-leaf shaped glass bottle, from the Acciacca Farm in Pelkie as part of the gourmet food line.
The group purchases their baskets, ribbon, cellophane wrapping, and gourmet chocolates from a wholesale distributor in Canada.
All basket products were sampled by the eight employees at KFRC who selected only what they considered the best items to offer for inclusion in the line.
KFRC has chosen to offer Pura Vida Coffee for their "Good Morning Coffee" baskets. Pura Vida is a 100% charitably owned company whose resources help at-risk families in the coffee growing countries. "Their mission is the same as ours,"said Sottile. "It was really a natural match,"nods Benda. The coffee comes in whole bean or drip grind, and in an assortment of flavors including French Roast and Cinnamon-Hazelnut.
Gifting with KFRC can be as simple as a scented candle in an organza bag or as elaborate and creative as a picnic basket overflowing with the gifter's personal choice of items.
Soaps and bath salts in the gift baskets are from the River Soap Company and come in scents such as ocean mist with sea kelp, fresh french lavender, garden mint, and lavender.
The Beans Wax Candle Co. supplies the soy candles. "I was happy they wanted to work with us," said Benda, referring to the company's willingness to sell and ship in smaller quantities than they would to a retail store. The candles burn 35-40 hours, are clean-burning and scents include spice, orange pekoe, ocean breeze, cranberry, cucumber mint, pear patchouli, vanilla, lilac and tulip. "Our office always smells delightful," added Sottile, referring to their storage area that houses the scented gift items.
The group launched its first big sales effort in late April, in time for Mother's Day. Benda oversaw a booth displaying the baskets at a weekend home and garden show at the Gates Student Center on MTU Campus. Benda sold $900 in one day and nearly everything she brough to the event. "I had 2 bars of soap left,"said Benda.
Keweenaw Gift Baskets are assembled by Benda at a work table at the KFRC office in the Trinity Episcopal Church building at 203 Montezuma Ave in Houghton.
Gift basket prices begin at $20 and go up, depending on the items in the basket. The French milled soaps, the bath salts, soy candles, lotions and bath washes, gourmet goodies and Pura Vida Coffee may be purchased individually as well.
KFRC has a short term goal of selling $4000 worth of baskets at shows at Christmastime and at parent-child play dates.
Benda will bring a selection of baskets to any local organization that would like to help in the sales effort.
Benda and Sottile invite you to stop by and view the sample baskets and to look at the line of products used to fill them.
If you are interested in purchasing a basket to help the center, or you would like more information visit the Web site, www.kfrckids.org, visit the Center at 203 E Montezuma Ave or call 482-9363.
Question: What do you get when you combine 12 cotton snap undershirts, four blanket sleepers, a pair of snowsuits, two sets of booties and a huge pack of diapers?
Answer: A partial shopping list for parents preparing to have twins.
"Having two babies at once - particularly if they are your first children - can put a mighty dent in one's wallet," said Meridith O'Brien in her article, "Preparing for Twins," on the website www.babyzone.com. "We're talking two car seats, two cribs, two sets of clothes. Never mind the diapers. It's estimated that parents of twins go through 140 or more diapers a week with a set of newborn twins."
O'Brien's advice is probably old hat to Suzanna and Dennis Tursich of Dollar Bay. The Tursiches are the parents of 4 boys, including Dimitri, 9, Dominik, 6, and twin 2 year-olds Willim and Jozef.
Twice the diapers, furniture, clothes and formula is a huge expense," Suzanna said. "Of course I can't state all the challenges - and there are definitely more - without mentioning the blessings: They are perfect and twice the fun."
The Tursiches are among millions of Michigan parents being honored as part of Parenting Awareness Month, an official statewide campaign authorized by state legislature in 1993 to recognize parents for their important yet often unsung roles.
"Its important to celebrate parents because it's one fo the few jobs that you don't need any prior experience for," said Taryn Mack, coordinator of the Parent Task Force, a local group that coordinates services for parents. "Parenting Awareness Month is just an opportunity to celebrate parents for the good work that they do."
Of Michigan's 130,000 births each year, only about 3% are to twins, triplets or more, which puts the Tursiches is a pretty select group of parents.
It can be exhilarating, Suzanna said, and exhausting.
"Exhaustion would be the first thing that comes to mind -- from the first few months when they never sleep at the same time, to the toddler years when they are always going in different directions," she said. "Dealing with two babies with colic, teething, and potty training at the same time can exhaust all your patience."
"In the end it comes down to having two children go through every stage at exactly the same time."
The older boys, Dimitri and Dominik said it's pretty neat to have twin brothers.
Both boys say the best part is always having someone to play with.
The boys add that there's always a lot foa ction around the house and that it's fun to teach the twins new things, such as how to do push-ups.
Suzanna said parenting twins can make it difficult to get out of the house. Since moving to the Copper Country from Florida in 2003, the family has spent a lot of time sledding, enjoying family dinners and movies.
She and the twins also attend a parent-child playgroup operated by the Keweenaw Family Resource Center to meet other people.
Overall, she said the challenging experience of raising twins is well worth it.
"Watching them grow up as best friends is unbelievably rewarding," she said. "Of course they fight and are already tired of sharing, but as they get older this will help them to be better adjusted. Twins are joy and frustration times two!"
For the past 13 years, I have spent many happy hours watching -and joining in- children play at the playgroups offered by the Keweenaw Family Resource Center. Playgroups give parents and children the opportunity to interact in a warm and friendly environment with a variety of different activities available for chldren ages birth to 5 years.
I always enjoy reading to young children. I read to my own children until they were well into elementary school, then they read to me.
My all-time favorite activity with preschoolers is to make a batch of homemade playdough and give them some cookie cutters and dowels and rolling pins. I have made innumerable batches and spent hours of playtime with my children and their friends. Now I can do it again at a playgroup.
We know that play is essential for children to learn. Children explore thier world through play, testing their skills and muscles, trying out new ideas. This helps them to feel competent enough to try different activities.
Sometimes children like to play alone. This is called soiltary play. Children may do puzzles, look at a book or draw pictures.
How do children play together in a sandbox? Sometimes one is making a sandcastle while the other plays with a dump truck. This is called parallel play.
Some children can spend hours in cooperative play, such as operating a lemonade stand, playing house, or some other sort of pretend.
Play may get more sophisticated as children grow older. Isn't adult play amazingly similar to children's?
As in all productive play, the fun is in the doing. Children need lots of time to pursue their own ideas, to do things their way, to see what it is like to be someone else. Adults can encourage their children to play in ways that are valuable.
The following are general principles for adults to follow when helping children make the most of their play.
Editor's note: Margaret Sottile is the executive director of Keweenaw Family Resource Center. She adapted this articel from "Play is Fundamental" by Janet Brown McCracken, published by the National Association for the Education of Young Children.
Two years ago Maria Bergstrom moved to Houghton with a 1-year old child and few friends. Fourtunately, a local organization helped the new mother meet others in the same situation.
"I was brand new in the community and discovered a fabulous way to meet other moms who were also home with their kids," Bergstrom said. "I've got to know many of them over time, and we exchange ideas about kids and places to go with our kids."
Bergstrom participates in the Mommy, Daddy and Me Program, a playgroup offered to all area parents and children through the Keweenaw Family Resource Center in Houghton. This is one of several programs the center provides to parents of children ages infant to 4.
In the playgroup, Bergstrom said she spends half her time visiting with other moms and the other half playing with her children, Aaron, 3, and Grace, 15 months. The families also take part in snack time, crafts, and songs.
KFRC Executive Director Margaret Sottile said the non-profit organization "provides a child with a caregiving relationship with the parents, so they are free to develop cognitively and grow," she said.
Sottile said there's a variety of reasons parents could use help from KFRC.
"Our main goal is to prevent child abuse and neglect," Sottile said. "We do this through supporting the parents."
KFRC workers offer reassurance and support for parents, health-care advice, a family support program and opportunities for parents and children to socialize.
"If people move here from outside the area, they could be socially isolated," Sottile said. "Children need to be around other children to give them an opportunity to develop (social) skills."
That's one of the reasons Amy Linn of Paavola brings her 2 year old son, Oliver, to the playgroup session. The duo began going to the playgroups when Oliver was 6 months old.
We read books and play with the toys and other kids," Linn said. "I also talk with other parents. You meet a lot of nice people here."
KFRC is the brainchild of Sottile and another local woman, Pat Wood. The program began as an outreach of Trinity Episcopal Church to give family support and enrich and strengthen family life.
It gained nonprofit status in the early 1990s and employs 11, including visitor program coordinators, home visiting nurses, AmeriCorps volunteers, playgroup coordinators and liasions from other child programs. About 20 volunteers also help with the organization.
The center provided several programs.
The center is supported by the Michigan Children's Trust Fund, Michigan Department of Education, B-H-K Child Development Board, The Western Upper Peninsula Health Department and service and faith-based organizations. Copper Country United Way hopes to donate 8,100 to the center this year, with funds going toward playgroups and parenting classes.
"United Way was the first agency to give us funding," Sottile said. "It helped us to get going, and we were able to apply for other grants afterwards."
KFRC works hand-in-hand with B-H-K, WIC, the health department and other children agencies and programs.
When Lake Linden third-grader Toby Kunnari read of the opportunity to help Afghan children in a Keweenaw Family Resource Center newsletter, he knew he wanted to help. Using money he made from a recent family rummage sale, where he sold popcorn and candy, he donated his earnings to "America's Fund for Afghan Children," which is headed by First Lady Laura Bush. Kunnari's parents, Sherry and Toby, are proud of how he came forth to help the Afghan children. Less than a week later, five-year-old Anna Daavettila stopped by the KFRC office to donate money she had earned through her weekly allowance. Anna and her family attend many playgroups and other events sponsored by KFRC. Her parents, Cindy and Joe of Houghton, read of the chance to donate and explained to Anna the needy situation the Afghan children are in. She readily agreed to use part of her allowance for this cause. Our first lady encourages young children in America to help the children of Afghanistan, whose lives are constantly in danger. As Kunnari and Daavettila have shown, even the youngest children can help those in need. Any child can use their chore money or help out around the house to earn money to donate toward "America's Fund for Afghan Children." The Keweenaw Family Resource Center is a local non-profit organization that provides programs for families with children from birth to four years. To donate to "America's Fund for Afghan Children" call 482-9363 or visit KFRC at 203 E. Montzeuma Ave. in Houghton. To date, nearly 2.2 million dollars have been raised for the fund, proving how effective the program has been. However, the poverty of starvation is nowhere near over with, as the fighting continues.
If you're a student at Michigan Tech who is also pulling duties as a parent of a child up to the age of five, a great opportunity has arrived for you. Sponsored by the Keweenaw Family Resource Center, "Sleepy-time Story Hour" begins next Monday, Feb. 11 at 6 p.m. at the Daniell Heights Community Room. The event will last until 7:30 p.m. and includes a bedtime story, snack and socialization. As their flyer says, "Bring children in their pajamas and we'll read them a bedtime story! We will also provide a fun activity and a small snack each week! Children will be ready to be tucked into bed by the time you are home." KFRC wants to reach out to families with small children at MTU. "Sometimes these students might feel isolated because of school, work and family commitments," said KFRC Program Coordinator Cathy Benda. "We hope the story hour will give parents a way to spend enjoyable time with their young children and to socialize with other parents." One of many story hours offered through KFRC, it will continue on the following Mondays: Feb. 25, March 11 and 25, Apr. 8, 22 and May 13. The Keweenaw Family Resource Center, founded in 1991 to support, enrich and strengthen family life in the Keweenaw, is a non-profit organization supported through out the community. They also provide home visits, hospital visits and playgroups. For more information on the story hour or any other aspect of the organization, call 482-9363 or visit them on the web at http://www.kfrckids.org.
Everyone with young children can probably use a little help now and then. So, if you have a baby or a child younger than five (or both), it doesn't matter how much money you make, or where you come from, or whether you're married or not. The Keweenaw Family Resource Center is an equal opportunity outfit. They'd love to have you drop by.
The center is run by director Margaret Sottile, a research engineer/scientist in the biological sciences department. She started the center several years ago in cooperation with Trinity Episcopal Church in Houghton. Its mission to "support, enrich, and strengthen family life in the Keweenaw Peninsula by providing programs that focus on families with children from birth to five years of age."
By bringing people (mostly mothers, but also fathers, grandparents and other caregivers) together, the center provides a communal atmosphere of support and fellowship that nurtures families and children at their most vulnerable stage in life. "Most of the women who live here with small children feel isolated," Sottile said. "If you don't have family here, you don't have a network."
The KFRC provides that network and a lot more. They started by organizing playgroups, where children could play and their parents could meet other parents. For the youngsters, the playgroups are safe, nonviolent places when they learn to share and get along with others. For the parents, the playgroups are a different sort of learning experience. "They make friends," Sottile said. And when a mother worries that her baby may not be developing normally, there's usually a more-experienced parent to calm her fears and say, no, that's perfectly normal, relax and be patient.
About half of the families served by the center are connected with Michigan Tech. Many are the spouses of MTU faulty, staff, or students. "Generally, the Tech wives who move here know no one," Sottile said.Amanda Frayling was one of those Tech wives who has stayed involved with the center. "The best thing was the feeling of community, the feeling that you weren't alone, and if you had a prolem, there was someone to ask," she said. "And the children really enjoyed it."
The center has expanded its services, now providing immunization information on behalf of the Western Upper Peninsula Health Department for the families of babies born at Keweenaw Memorial and the Portage Health System. "We've had a very positive response," Sottile said. "Over 90 percent have enrolled in the health department's immunization program."
The center sponsors a babysitting co-op, and it prepares a newsletter on the infant's first twelve months of life, so new parents don't have unrealistic expectations of their baby that could cause anxiety or even abuse. And their home visitor program sends trained volunteers into the homes of parents with newborns.
"They can do anything the family needs," Sottile said. "They can sit and visit, or go out for coffee, or take them to the grocery store. One mother would take a short nap while the home visitor watched the kids."
The Keweenaw Family Resource Center incorporated as a nonprofit organization about three years ago, when they were realized they were filling a unique role in the community. Though still affiliated with Trinity Episcopal and Gloria Dei Lutheran Church, it is nonsectarian and answers to a governing board. The Children's Trust Fund, Superior Council, recently honored Sottile with a Partners in Prevention Award, and the Episcopal Church named the KFRC a Jubilee Center for its grassroots, community outreach efforts.
An Anglican "by upbringing and inclination," Sottile likes working in cooperation with churches. "They have great facilities," she said. "We need more collaboration between nonprofits, churches, businesses, and local agencies, because of the decline in funding for social services.
"And we also need the talents of volunteers--Houghton County has so many wonderful people who have given so much."
Sottile gives because she believes her unpaid work has value that transcends the most generous paycheck.
There is nothing more important than raising your children," she asserts. "We all need to be strong advocates for children, especially the very young, who are among the first hurt by cuts in the state and federally funded programs.
And she loves her work with the center. "I really enjoy small children and babies," she said. "In addition, I have made wonderful discoveries about myself and made wonderful friends.
Money is all very well and good, she says, but one's time in the greatest gift. "It's the giving of yourself that can make a difference in the life of a child," she said.
Return to I'm a Parent